Alex's 1st Critique

Whoever Claims It Hardest, Remembers It Most Obsessively Alex, I like that you experimented with the form of a list. With your format, you switch from centered, triple spaced prose—that is something like an introduction—to a list of memories. However, certain parts of that introduction—for example the line reading “why do I associate everything with the delusional 7th grade relationship . . .” seems so relevant in that first part, but is never mentioned again in the story, which makes it seem like the narrator doesn’t actually associate everything with that relationship. The list was my favorite part; I like how each number or memory relates to the bathroom, but that they’re all totally separate instances and situations. I think there could have been more of that. The ending brings me back to the beginning, with the same format and the switching from the list back to prose. I like the last paragraph, “we are devoid of a Wardrobe, Rabbit Hole, or Flying Pirate Ship . . .” those lines are powerful to me, but they seem like a different story from the lists that I was previously drawn into. That reference to The Chronicles of Narnia, Alice in Wonderland, and Peter Pan could start off a story of its own—I feel like in this piece it’s lost—whereas the very last line, “no one punks there” brings the reader back to the list of memories in the bathroom.